I have something to share with you all. I am cleaning and I found my journal from the 3rd grade, and boy howdy am I retarded. These are the stories I wrote.

"The Mistery"
One day when I was leaving from school I heard somthing in my locker. It scared me! I opened my locker and nothing was there. So I looke above my looker and.... Wow!! A weird creature was on my locker. Should I touch it? I thouht I picked it up anyway. It had blue eyeys and fluffy whit fur. I decided to name it Mistery. beause how I found him in my locker. he was loveble and sweet and he grew to be the size of a dog and then he died my parents bout me a cat and I named it sweeti just like mistery.
Oh ya, it had horns.
BYE ALL

... yeah, That's exactly how I wrote it. Then I drew a little picture. Mmkay.

Now, this is the next one.


"The Locked Trunk"
One day I was at my Friend Janas house and we were playing a game with her little brother Jefrey We put him in a treasure trunk he laphad we locked Him in Jana whad do we do with the Key for the next Five minutes. We hid the Key in a droor. Five minutes was up ok time to get Jefrey out of the turnk. Now where died we put the Key. asked Jana. I don't know. Oh no we both said together. Win your parents get home there gonna kill us. hurry look every where for it I found it said Tiffany. We got Jefrey out of the box he Said I'm never playing with you guys again We bolthe laghphad.

The End

.......................Yeeeeeah.

"All of a sunden the dog began to talk to Joe"

One timem when I was at my cousin Joe's house we were playing video games. We hard somethig say Go left nonono go rite nonono go down now up we paused the game Joe turned What was that I said in a scared voice Joe looked behind the couch No one was there exceped his dog Butch. Butch can't talk he said in a sound of releif. OH ya butch said Well you can't Bark so stop complaining butch said. No No No No No No you can't talk your a dog. I said. OH Ya than what am I doing now walking du yuve got to start leaning how to play video games All try Joe and I said

The END

...............................................I don't have a cousin named Joe. lol

"It was a dark, cold, windy Halloween night"

One Halloween I was playing at Janas house with Wafa We were playng Halloween Hide and go seek. it was exactaly like rugular Hide and go seek exept when you got to base you had to say trick or treat three times. after that was over we went trick or treating it was dark, cold, and windy Halloween night three people jumped out of the bushes at the first house. And 4 at the enxt House. 1 jumped out at the third house. They did not scare us at all. We had to go home then. We ate some candy and went to bed.

The end

...I also drew a jack-o-lantern and a kitty.

I'm thinking the stories had to be so many lines, so i just wrote as much as I could. lol.
"Untitled"
The warnne tmuousou(gibberish) The graup was warned Warning this not about the quick sand but...... They wanted to take the risk because Eddie Johnson thought he was all tha tso the whole group Jumped over the quick sand but did not make it. You probaly do not know what I'm talking about so I will go slow
Eddie Johnson is a big bully and Hes always picking on some one so we all showed him. How did we show him you ask becaus I did say we did not make it but we did! I was just joking

THE END

..Yeah.

They get better.

The happiest day of my life is when I went to kindergarden My teacher was so nice. She gave us treats and she read to us every day She was asomeme.

The End

...My kindergarten teacher was a B word.

I think this next one is my favorite.

"Barney The snowMan"
Hey my name is Tiffany It is almost Christmas and it is snowing so mom told me to get out of her hair so I did and I built a snow-man I named him Barney And I gave him ...... Ahhhhhhh!!!!!! he ate me!!! What am I going to do.............................

PLOP!

The end.


Then I drew a cheery snow man. lol. Did I mention I got stickers and stamps that pretty much said "Good Job"? I don't think our teacher had very high expectations lol.



"Dr. Martin Luther Kind, Jr."
When he was a boy he found out that blacks weren't aloud to play with whites. He is farmouse for fighting for what he beleived in
freedom!!

(and I turned the !! into a smiley type fave with teeth and a tongue.)

My teacher was black. I wonder if it offended her that I obviously didn't pay attention??????

"The things I like to do best in the whole world are...."
swimming with the dolphins because I love dolphins.
watching Animal Shows on Animal planet, playing on the computer. reading

...I never swam with the dolphins. Sad day.

"My Secret Hiding Place....."
is under the computer table. because I'm small enough to fit under there with the chair and still be comfortable while playing hide and go seek. I'm the only one who knows about it
The end

... I guess not anymore cause I told my teacher. Gosh.

"Science Fest!!"

Science Fest is fun all we had to do is test redy(i have no idea what it says) last year I wasn't a winner. But this year I hope I will be. The activitys are weight containers, fold-n

........Again, I have no idea. And.. I remember science fest being super awesome and cool but I don't remember anything about it at all.

"What I like best about spring is ....................."
the smell and spring vacation and going to see all my friends and oh ya I get to move.


Thats all
(in big letters)

.........

"All About My Spring Break!"
I went to Six Flags and tweety rode all the rides with me and we hade lots of fun I wish you were ther, wait a minute I wish I was there.

End

....Yeah, I totally made that up lol. Woot.


"A phone Conversation"
(which is crossed out, and I renamed it)
"I talking to Jana"
Phone: Ring,Ring,:Ring,Ring

JJ. Hello.

Me: HI

JJ: Who is this?

Me: Tiff

JJ: Oh, hi!

Me: Do you want to go to the mall?

JJ: I can't sorry

Me: Why?

JJ: I have homework

Me: Oh bummer.

Me: That stinks.

JJ: sure does

Me: Ummm Maybe tomorrow

JJ: I'll see, wait I'll as my mom after my homeworks done K?

Me: k, cool!

JJ: I got to finish my homework bye

Me bye

....Riiight.

"Fishy Facts"

One day I was playing fishy facts with the rest of the class like we always do And my tream won, It was a mirracle, We've never won anything before. We got a peice of candy. It was the best sstuff we've ever had, It tasted like candy of powers. And all of the sudden Wafa, J.J., Spencer, and me all changed into something else. Jana was Goldfish Girl, Spencer was catfish cat, and I was GuppyWuppy. And it didn't take long until I tripped over a chair and my finger sapped Chris' desk in half. It was cool and we finnaly we figured out we could do a lot of stuff but than school was out and we ran out of pwer, but when we got back to school the next day and that went on until each of us did
The End

........I hate myself.

"The Strange Land"

I was playing Kickball in P.E. yesterday and the Ball hit me in the head, and I got knocked out. And then finnaly I opened my eyes after a while and I was in a strange land! And there was a sign and it said ......

( I drew a big sign that said Dream Land "where all your dreams come true!")

Wow! What a stange land cause its raining candy over there and theres ice cream growing over there Man This is cool! Ouch!
A giant Jaw Breaker just hit me. And Tiffany got knocked out again and she woke up in P.E. and every one was asking if she was ok and she said "yes"

The End

.....I just realized I was in the advanced class this year, too. I do not remember the proper name. lol. I was only in it one year hahahahaha. I can't imagine why.

"How to Make a Bed"
by : Tiffany Schwake

This is how to make a bed.
First you take the fitted sheet and tuck the corners under the bed. Next take the flat sheet, and put it on the top as straight as you can. Then take a blanket and put it on as straight as you can, like you did with the flast sheet. Finally (wow I finally spelled it right! woot!) take the pillow and the pillow case, and slide the pillow in the hole of the pillow case. Lift up top of the blanket and put down the pillow, cover the pillow, with the blanket. Now your done!

That is how you make your bed!


THANK goodness that's all of them. I'm somewhat O.C.D. and I had to write all of them. Kbye.

My baby

WTF

I hate douche bag land lords that don't ask questions, just attack you and cuss you out and make you feel 2 inches tall. Jerk off.

I'm sick.
Damn it.

DECEMBER 10TH I CAN'T FREAKIN WAIT!!!!!
my sissy rocks my socks :D yayyyy

My puppy

Ok, so there she is. Being a little brat. Wouldn't cooperate with the picture taking. :P Lol. Isn't she cute though???? I love her. Her name is Tinkerbell. Or Tink. Or Tinky.

K.. Laters.

Ok so here's the deal.. My grandpa's dog had puppies, and I picked one out and came over one day and it was gone and I was very sad. :( I didn't know if I could have it to begin with though, so i tried not to get upset. Then I picked out one to keep for real after my mom said I could have one. So, I had been playing with it a lot and stuff... Anywho, The people came back and said they wanted to look at the males and there were 2 and one of them was mine and I was like.. umm there's this one and this one but this is the one I was thinking about keeping but I guess if yall really want it.. and one of the girls is like "Yeah, that's the one she wanted" (don't ask me who) anyways, they ended up taking it. Yeah, I lost it. I waited til they left but then I freaking lost it.... I called my mommy and cussed her out cause well, at the time it was her fault. I'm a brat,okay? so, I bawled for half an hour, I actually cried so hard i threw up and yeah. (I also think I may be starting my period soon) Anyways. My mom called me back later and was like "What the fuck was that?" and I go "You could've told me they were gonna take my fucking dog" (she didn't tell me they were coming over to get another puppy) and she started to bitch at me and i was like "no forget it, i've cried enough so just stop" and she said something about "listen to me damn it" and anywho, The woman that took my original favorite puppy couldn't keep it because she was about to start working like 16 hour days and couldn't be there enough for it, so she said I could have it back. When mom told me, I cried even more , half from happiness and the other half for being stupid and emotional and I felt bad for the lady.
BUT YAY I GOT MY GORGEOUS PUPPY!
I'll post a pic later, but right now, what would you think a puppy crossed from a pure bred Maltese and pure bred Dachshund?

lmao, Sounds horrible,right? Well, it's not. She is more maltese than anything.


(the dad is a maltese and the mommy is a dachshund..even if that's a picture of male dachshund.....)


I'll post the pic later. Loveeeeeee
~Tiff~

Edit: I can't get a picture just yet, but basically she's a maltese..but like..tanish white.

Something very disgusting and embarrasing happend to me today, If you wanna know what it is I'll tell you but other than too bad lmao

Tiff

DIRTY LITTLE SECRET

I love music.

And, I should listen to lyrics more often. A couple weeks ago I realized what Dirty Little Secret says..

The Chorus..

I'll keep you my dirty little secret(Dirty little secret)Don't tell anyone or you'll be just another regret(Just another regret, hope that you can keep it)My dirty little secret...

Jussstttt mean. Those of us who have been a "dirty little secret" know that it SUCKS and that's just mean. lol.

Anyways, I LOVE PANIC! AT THE DISCO. I do. I do I do I do OO oooooo.

And my sister rocksss because she burned me the CD. Happiness.

Umm. It's 8:37 am ....Do you know where you're children are?

Love.

Tiff

Ok, This may only be funny cause I'm extremely tired and it's 1:30 A.M. ...

I'm watching the shining and it's where Jack Nicholsons to the point of no return and the mom tells the insane child (i've concluded psychoness is genetic) that she'll be right back cause she's just going to check on daddy, and the next scene she's in she's carrying a bat and calling his name. Hahahahaha. Ha.

HAHA she found his writing. "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."

This movie would end sooner if she's just hit the dumb bastard with the bat. Stupid bitch.

Bye now.

EDIT: jack nicholson "I'm NOT gonna hurt you, I'm JUST gonna BASH your brains in"

Also, She did just hit him in the head with the bat. Bye for real.

Like, Holy crap a lot has happend and at the same time nothing at all has happend.

I'm in Norman at Felicia's and I go home in a week. I miss Joel, more than anything and right now I am bored and waiting patiently for my sister to get back from work.

Oh yes, I need a cigarette.

bye.

YAY!!!

Ok, So sylvia's sister, Brandi, Who is also one of my best friends..she's gonna be in my wedding and i was supposed to be in hers.. yeah, anyways, SHE'S PREGNANT!! YAY!!!

i'm so happy for her. She's due like January 13th or so..yay! i am so happy for her!!

that's all i've got so far. I just woke up an hour ago when she called lol. Bye now.

:)

Hello!!!

How're you? Good? Good.

Lol.

Anyways. I updated my myspace using a generator type thing, and it effin ROCKS. I have 2 favorite new songs. Get stoned by Hinder (no, I do not do drugs. Honest.) And Crazy Bitch by BuckCherry. Yeah biddy. Sylvia's influences.

Speaking of Sylvia, She is grounded :( But I guess it doesn't really matter because i'm like... 30 miles away I think. Yeah. Sounds good.

I'm a barbie girl, In a barbie world.

Peace.

I need a shower.

For reals.

My sister called me and told me i had to come see her get bapetized (lmaoooooo I so spelled that wrong) tomorrow && i want to,but I don't know if we'll be leaving tonight. Yar.

I can't find my lighter.

I need to go find something to eat.

Ooo, I almost forgotted.

The other night, when Joel and I were laying down to sleep, he was on his back and I was on my side up against him facing away from him (lmao if that makes sense) and i had ahold of his arm and I was thinking about how much i love him and how i couldn't hold him tight enough.

But I think i was holding him too tightly,cause his arm started twitching.
>.< hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Know what I find amusing? For years,teachers tried to teach us proper grammar, spelling, proper use of punctuation and all that... And so in class (most of us) wrote correctly and did all that.. But almost every one of those students went home and greeted their friends online

"hi!! :D wutz up wit u?"

hahahaha.
haha.
I amuse myself. K, I'm leaving now. Bye.

♥ Tiff


Wasn't he ADORABLE?!?!! Yup, We're gonna make beautiful babies some day...:)

Crapness.

I feel like shit.

On a brighter note, If you call the cable people and tell them you will pay your bill, they turn your internet back on!


EDIT: More of an update.

Did you know that Carrie was Stephen King's first novel??

Did you know it's one of the greatest books ever written?
(in my opinion)

I have cramps, I've been on my period for 2 months(over 2 months), My glands are swollen, my throat is sore and gross looking, my nose is stuffy/draining.

And I have to babysit in the morning. 5 am at that.

I also now I have the hiccups.

badly.

Tiff.

Ok, So... I may be moving in a week or two. Half forced/half willingly. We are most likley going to get evicted. Apparently, that happends when you don't pay your rent..Who knew?

I'm not in a very good mood. I'm going to leave now.

Poo.

It's 5:30 and Joel's not home yet. I have to talk to him about something very important. I hope his day went okay :( As long as he had to work today, I'm afraid he might not like the new job. I dunno, though.

Side note, My body does not like it if i do not eat. I'm not starving myself on purpose, but there is a lack of food and now when it comes to food the idea isn't so great. Sooooo i'm not feeling to well. And i've been on my period for like 2 months or something. It's rediculous.

Busy, busy week.. Tonight I need to go to my brothers and watch the 3 gilmore girls on the DVR and tomorrow i've got my fat girls club meeting, then after that i'm going to go hang out with sylvia..Thursday, I have to watch the girls all day and then all night cause during the day Rikki and Lance are going to help my brother move into his new house, and then that night rikki wants to go to the Foam Party.So poo poo :( But it's all good.

I should get my job back cause Rikki is probably gonna go back to her old one til she finds a new one. So that's a little extra money.

I'm gonna go now..hope joelie gets here soon :(

Bye bye..
♥Tiff♥

Like holy crap I look funny when I lay down. Not quite sure what the deal is..I took several and they all looked kinda funny.. :/

Anywhoseits. It's 10:30 pm and joel got the job!! *thumbs up* But now, I gotta go make sure he gets to bed so he can be up at 6 am. Fun shat right thurr.

♥Peace♥

Roller Coaster

Alright, So today has been up and down up and down..All friggin day.

Like..This morning I was really upset about life in general (money..the whole thing with Sylvia) ..Well, then, Joel got offered a really good job and that was great..But then we found out it's going to be really dangerous...and that's bad...But there's really good perks and stuff..so that's good... He finds out tomorrow evening if he has it for sure.

Also, for the past couple days i've been eating at myself about the whole Sylvia situation... Well, I finally decided, That as angry as i was, I was more worried about her than anything. So I called her, and she called me back tonight.. She really does feel bad about the other night. Theres more to it then that, we talked some things out and I let her know how much she means to me and how i'll always be there for her and stuff. So we're okay. That makes me feel loads better.. When you've only got 1 best friend (other then your man) it's scary to think of losing her. Especially as close as we are.

We're getting some variation of that^^(best friends)
Tattooed on the back of our calves when we turn 18.I have to research it more though and make sure it's right before it gets tattooed on us for the rest of our lives lol. That's just something i drew out for fun.The real one will be drawn in pink and outlined in black.

I'm going to put some pics of me and my 3 fave peoples in the whole world (aside from my mommy daddy brother and the rest .. i love them bunches too!!! :D)

Here's me and Sylly...

Sexy,Right?;)

♥Me and My Sissy♥

We're so gorgeous :D

And last but not at all least...

Me and my Baby :D Sorta old but it works...
I ♥ him :)

K well I gotta get off to bed..Gotta watch the 2 most gorgeous babies tomorrow about 11 :)

♥♥♥
Tiff

Messed up.

If a friend tells you she'll spend the night, Then later calls and asks if it's okay if she goes to party for a little while after work before coming to your house, do you get upset??

How about if it's 3 AM and she's still not here yet?

EDIT: Ok, How about .. if you go to your friends sister's and wake her up at 4AM and she has to go to Sonic to get the possible party person's phone number..she calls it and gets bullshitted by 2 different people saying that your friends not there...Then, when threatened with the cops they hand the phone over and your friend half talks to her sister and then is instructed to come home and threatend with cops...Well, your friend then shows up at your house trashed, and doesn't even seem to think she did anything wrong. "I just wanted to have fun". Why didn't you call me? "I didn't want to hurt your feelings" OH I SEE BECAUSE NOT FUCKING SHOWING UP AT ALL IS A BETTER IDEA

Woohoo!!!

got bored with xanga..don't post a whole lot nowadays anyways..but maybe a change of pace will get me motivated. EH?

If you'd like to see previous blog entries u may go to www.xanga.com/demonangel55

Alright? Well. Not a lot going on with me. Waitin on Joel to bring my subway. Listenin to Eve 6. Rock on. "When i think about i touch myself"
lmao. Yay.

Hmm.

I'm hungry.

Andddddddd........leaving now.
kbye

EDIT: The freakin subway lady screwed up my sandwiches and so i couldn't eat the 2nd one and the first one just wasn't right :(