I have something to share with you all. I am cleaning and I found my journal from the 3rd grade, and boy howdy am I retarded. These are the stories I wrote.

"The Mistery"
One day when I was leaving from school I heard somthing in my locker. It scared me! I opened my locker and nothing was there. So I looke above my looker and.... Wow!! A weird creature was on my locker. Should I touch it? I thouht I picked it up anyway. It had blue eyeys and fluffy whit fur. I decided to name it Mistery. beause how I found him in my locker. he was loveble and sweet and he grew to be the size of a dog and then he died my parents bout me a cat and I named it sweeti just like mistery.
Oh ya, it had horns.
BYE ALL

... yeah, That's exactly how I wrote it. Then I drew a little picture. Mmkay.

Now, this is the next one.


"The Locked Trunk"
One day I was at my Friend Janas house and we were playing a game with her little brother Jefrey We put him in a treasure trunk he laphad we locked Him in Jana whad do we do with the Key for the next Five minutes. We hid the Key in a droor. Five minutes was up ok time to get Jefrey out of the turnk. Now where died we put the Key. asked Jana. I don't know. Oh no we both said together. Win your parents get home there gonna kill us. hurry look every where for it I found it said Tiffany. We got Jefrey out of the box he Said I'm never playing with you guys again We bolthe laghphad.

The End

.......................Yeeeeeah.

"All of a sunden the dog began to talk to Joe"

One timem when I was at my cousin Joe's house we were playing video games. We hard somethig say Go left nonono go rite nonono go down now up we paused the game Joe turned What was that I said in a scared voice Joe looked behind the couch No one was there exceped his dog Butch. Butch can't talk he said in a sound of releif. OH ya butch said Well you can't Bark so stop complaining butch said. No No No No No No you can't talk your a dog. I said. OH Ya than what am I doing now walking du yuve got to start leaning how to play video games All try Joe and I said

The END

...............................................I don't have a cousin named Joe. lol

"It was a dark, cold, windy Halloween night"

One Halloween I was playing at Janas house with Wafa We were playng Halloween Hide and go seek. it was exactaly like rugular Hide and go seek exept when you got to base you had to say trick or treat three times. after that was over we went trick or treating it was dark, cold, and windy Halloween night three people jumped out of the bushes at the first house. And 4 at the enxt House. 1 jumped out at the third house. They did not scare us at all. We had to go home then. We ate some candy and went to bed.

The end

...I also drew a jack-o-lantern and a kitty.

I'm thinking the stories had to be so many lines, so i just wrote as much as I could. lol.
"Untitled"
The warnne tmuousou(gibberish) The graup was warned Warning this not about the quick sand but...... They wanted to take the risk because Eddie Johnson thought he was all tha tso the whole group Jumped over the quick sand but did not make it. You probaly do not know what I'm talking about so I will go slow
Eddie Johnson is a big bully and Hes always picking on some one so we all showed him. How did we show him you ask becaus I did say we did not make it but we did! I was just joking

THE END

..Yeah.

They get better.

The happiest day of my life is when I went to kindergarden My teacher was so nice. She gave us treats and she read to us every day She was asomeme.

The End

...My kindergarten teacher was a B word.

I think this next one is my favorite.

"Barney The snowMan"
Hey my name is Tiffany It is almost Christmas and it is snowing so mom told me to get out of her hair so I did and I built a snow-man I named him Barney And I gave him ...... Ahhhhhhh!!!!!! he ate me!!! What am I going to do.............................

PLOP!

The end.


Then I drew a cheery snow man. lol. Did I mention I got stickers and stamps that pretty much said "Good Job"? I don't think our teacher had very high expectations lol.



"Dr. Martin Luther Kind, Jr."
When he was a boy he found out that blacks weren't aloud to play with whites. He is farmouse for fighting for what he beleived in
freedom!!

(and I turned the !! into a smiley type fave with teeth and a tongue.)

My teacher was black. I wonder if it offended her that I obviously didn't pay attention??????

"The things I like to do best in the whole world are...."
swimming with the dolphins because I love dolphins.
watching Animal Shows on Animal planet, playing on the computer. reading

...I never swam with the dolphins. Sad day.

"My Secret Hiding Place....."
is under the computer table. because I'm small enough to fit under there with the chair and still be comfortable while playing hide and go seek. I'm the only one who knows about it
The end

... I guess not anymore cause I told my teacher. Gosh.

"Science Fest!!"

Science Fest is fun all we had to do is test redy(i have no idea what it says) last year I wasn't a winner. But this year I hope I will be. The activitys are weight containers, fold-n

........Again, I have no idea. And.. I remember science fest being super awesome and cool but I don't remember anything about it at all.

"What I like best about spring is ....................."
the smell and spring vacation and going to see all my friends and oh ya I get to move.


Thats all
(in big letters)

.........

"All About My Spring Break!"
I went to Six Flags and tweety rode all the rides with me and we hade lots of fun I wish you were ther, wait a minute I wish I was there.

End

....Yeah, I totally made that up lol. Woot.


"A phone Conversation"
(which is crossed out, and I renamed it)
"I talking to Jana"
Phone: Ring,Ring,:Ring,Ring

JJ. Hello.

Me: HI

JJ: Who is this?

Me: Tiff

JJ: Oh, hi!

Me: Do you want to go to the mall?

JJ: I can't sorry

Me: Why?

JJ: I have homework

Me: Oh bummer.

Me: That stinks.

JJ: sure does

Me: Ummm Maybe tomorrow

JJ: I'll see, wait I'll as my mom after my homeworks done K?

Me: k, cool!

JJ: I got to finish my homework bye

Me bye

....Riiight.

"Fishy Facts"

One day I was playing fishy facts with the rest of the class like we always do And my tream won, It was a mirracle, We've never won anything before. We got a peice of candy. It was the best sstuff we've ever had, It tasted like candy of powers. And all of the sudden Wafa, J.J., Spencer, and me all changed into something else. Jana was Goldfish Girl, Spencer was catfish cat, and I was GuppyWuppy. And it didn't take long until I tripped over a chair and my finger sapped Chris' desk in half. It was cool and we finnaly we figured out we could do a lot of stuff but than school was out and we ran out of pwer, but when we got back to school the next day and that went on until each of us did
The End

........I hate myself.

"The Strange Land"

I was playing Kickball in P.E. yesterday and the Ball hit me in the head, and I got knocked out. And then finnaly I opened my eyes after a while and I was in a strange land! And there was a sign and it said ......

( I drew a big sign that said Dream Land "where all your dreams come true!")

Wow! What a stange land cause its raining candy over there and theres ice cream growing over there Man This is cool! Ouch!
A giant Jaw Breaker just hit me. And Tiffany got knocked out again and she woke up in P.E. and every one was asking if she was ok and she said "yes"

The End

.....I just realized I was in the advanced class this year, too. I do not remember the proper name. lol. I was only in it one year hahahahaha. I can't imagine why.

"How to Make a Bed"
by : Tiffany Schwake

This is how to make a bed.
First you take the fitted sheet and tuck the corners under the bed. Next take the flat sheet, and put it on the top as straight as you can. Then take a blanket and put it on as straight as you can, like you did with the flast sheet. Finally (wow I finally spelled it right! woot!) take the pillow and the pillow case, and slide the pillow in the hole of the pillow case. Lift up top of the blanket and put down the pillow, cover the pillow, with the blanket. Now your done!

That is how you make your bed!


THANK goodness that's all of them. I'm somewhat O.C.D. and I had to write all of them. Kbye.